Toledotastic: May 2005

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

 

Deep Throat

Not the porno, you pervs...the dude from the Watergate scandal. He finally revealed his identity. He is former FBI official W. Mark Felt. Read about it here.

 

89X 14th Birthday Bash

The 14th Annual 89X Birthday Bash (88.7 FM Windsor/Detroit) held yesterday was better than expected. There were three venues available along Woodward Avenue - the State Theater, Fox Theater and the outdoor area between the two. Once you entered the venues there was no re-entry except to travel between venues - at least theoretically.

The Fox Theater which hosted Keane and The Killers started filling up during Tegan and Sarah. For intermittent times leading up to Keane there was a line to get into the Fox because it went over capacity. By the time Keane and The Killers finally went on, there was no way anyone else could fit into the Fox. Our seats were in the lower balcony and we could see every other seat filled with people standing along the very back of the upper balcony. This was great for the bands but we didn't exactly feel safe. The entire balcony (yes, as in the structure itself) shook up and down as everyone bopped to The Killers. Methinks someone should check the stability of the balcony in the near future. The place was easily over capacity...either that or Americans truly have gotten too fat.

And what about the bands? Obviously, we weren't able to catch them all. I'll have to dig up the playlist to recall everything. But the bands I remember seeing were Louis XIV, Tegan and Sarah, Brendan Benson, Keane, The Killers and Sum 41. So my reviews are...

Louis XIV were boring as fuck. Maybe they sound better on CD but hearing them live didn't tempt me to search it out.
Tegan and Sarah weren't quite as boring as Louis XIV but still I wouldn't be bothered to give their CD a listen. It was great music to zone out to while fitting a few Kegel exercises into my daily routine.
Brendan Benson sounded pretty good and seemed pleased to be back in Detroit. He's well worth a listen if you like the more mellow stuff.
Keane were brilliant. The chubby, baby-faced singer definitely did Broadway in a past life but then again, it's nice to see a singer get into the music now and again. And I tried my best to forget that the band was decked out in the same outfit that Julian Casablancas (of the Strokes) wore for the greater part of 2004. More importantly the band sounded amazing. The singing was perfection and the songs' melodies are amazing. I don't see how anyone can be left without a smile after hearing them.
The Killers were definitely the must-see band of the day. Their live set, though, wasn't nearly as good as I'd hoped it would be. Apart from their two singles, their set was fodder. The newer song they did - "All the Pretty Faces" - sounded somewhat promising but still...I wonder if they'll be able to create a decent follow-up CD. And please, dear God, if you're listening...I can get past Brandon's rhinestone-covered keyboard stand...really I can...but if those Renaissance-fair-reject-pointed-shoes-from-hell become fashionable in the mainstream, I'll be forced into sexual hibernation. Shoes should never be as long as a man's calves! If anything, they made him look shorter (at least from my angle).
Sum 41 are included here only because I had to endure ten minutes of them while outside for a cigarette break. The generic punk rawk posturing was enough to make me embarrassed for them. The crowd, though, ate it up. Loads of people were crowd surfing and at least a dozen girls were hoisted up on shoulders. To each his own.

Hopefully I'll be able to develop the few pictures we took and post a proper playlist at some future date. All in all, for the price (about $45 per ticket once the fees/surcharges were added in) it was well worth it. It was also nice having 2/3 of the venues indoors.

Monday, May 30, 2005

 

How the Mighty Have Fallen, or Not

Kate Moss and Shane MacGowan...ha ha ha. Is she seeing in him Pete Doherty's future?


Sunday, May 29, 2005

 

Shane MacGowan and k.d. lang...separated at birth?



This is scarier to me than drunken photos of Shane.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

 

Hayden Christiansen

Just eye candy for today.


Friday, May 27, 2005

 

Ode to the Motor City

The Blade today features a column by Jack Lessenberry about why Detroiters are so damn ignorant that they elect morons for mayor. And in case no one has been paying attention, there are maybe 14 1/3 people still living within the city limits.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

 

Dave Chapelle A-Okay in Yellow Springs

According to the New York Post, Dave Chapelle is safely back in the US. Of course I knew that after seeing E! News the other day but that's beside the point. One of these days I must load up a car with similarly-deranged friends and drive down to Yellow Springs.

 

I've never been a big Nirvana fan but even I'm offended...



The caption isn't mine; it's from the site I borrowed the picture from.

Is it just me or does it look like Frances Bean Cobain got a nose job? I know the girl is only about 12 or 13 and that most doctors won't do the procedure at that age. But the girl's mother is Courtney Love, queen of I've-been-cut-and-stitched-back-together-three-zillion-times-and-still-look-like-last-call-at-a-truckstop. Courtney's old nose was rotund and dipped south at the tip. The last picture I saw of Frances (maybe two years ago?) had her nose growing in a similar fashion to Courtney pre-surgery. Yet here she is at *gasp* the American Idol finale with what appears to be subtly-shaved-down cartilage. It's done to look like it could be Kurt's nose that she inherited, but I don't buy it. Thoughts?

 

Why, Jude, why?

So jealous! It's unfair. Why does Sienna Miller get to have Jude Law? Wah-wah-wah...



Je veux avoir le sexe avec Jude Law. It sounds SO RIGHT in French.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

 

Further Proof that No One Ever Escapes from Toledo

The Blade reports that Larry Rochelle hasn't been back here since 1987 yet he just released a book of poetry about Toledo. Ah, how memories fade and mutate with time and distance.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

 

Premeditated Hype

I'm hyping this music review site, y'all. Deal.

Click here, bitches.

 

And the Academy Award goes to...

 

New Ohio Cigarette Tax

Those bastards! Heaven forbid we start taxing corporations or the wealthy to make up the budget deficit.

Screw the state of Ohio.

Monday, May 23, 2005

 

History of Toledo, Ohio

Sunday, May 22, 2005

 

Space Billboards

Read the CNN article.

Billboards in space!?! What a ludicrous proposition! Sadly, though, I think we can all imagine the likes of Nike and Coca-Cola doing such a thing.

 

I thought this sort of thing was purely an urban legend



Of course, it figures that this happened in a Wal-Mart.

 

Ha ha ha...um, I don't fit this profile...

"But it's more than brute numbers that make blogs so powerful a marketing force. According to Forrester Research, bloggers are the ideal consumers: They tend to be affluent (average household income: $57,900), influential with peers, and broadband-connected. Plus, they're young and tech-savvy: A quarter of all bloggers are ages 18 to 24, a group that's nine times more likely to have their own blogs. These consumers will no doubt carry their blogging habits, increasingly fatter wallets, and brand preferences with them into the mainstream. So bloggers are clearly a good long-term marketing investment." Read the entire article here.

Huh? $57,900? 18-24? I'd like to pass for 18-24 and live like I make $57,900 a year, but neither is true.

That being said, please contact me via email regarding donations to my lifestyle and plastic surgery funds. Every little bit helps.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

 

Silly Toledo Logic

While our politicians and area leaders whine about businesses leaving the area, here we go and arrest entrepreneurs providing highly desirable goods and services to the local community.


Friday, May 20, 2005

 

Why aren't we receiving daily updates?

I'm bored to death of the Noe/Republican scandal. I want to read more about Father Robinson and his Satanic ritual killings. It's been nearly a month since The Blade has published anything.

 

Only because the dingbat is from Toledo...

Thursday, May 19, 2005

 

Radar Magazine

Like people everywhere with nothing better to do, I went ahead and said 'yes' to the Radar Magazine ad that came in my mail (the most I can figure is they got my name off of a sucker's list sold by those anorexic twats at Vogue). I've read it and must say that I loved the entire thing. But one question...where do they go from here? It's like they were dying to finally vent what everybody has been saying in a well-written, professional format. They succeeded. But surely every issue can't be an expose on what a moron Britney Spears is. Sure, celebrities, politicians and the rest of us (I'm no exception) provide loads of fodder but by the time Radar can print the stuff, we all already know via the internet. So what's the point? Good luck, though. I loved the re-first (is that a word?) issue.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

 

The Raveonettes in Detroit

This will be the bestest show ever at the Magic Stick since the last time I was there, no lie. Everyone should go.

Buy tickets now.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

 

Nerd Alert Part Deux




 

Toledotastic

Toledotastic! Because Toledo is, um, fantastic.

Monday, May 16, 2005

 

Warning to Cricket Cellular Customers

As those I know with Cricket phones have discovered, anyone can send a text message to a Cricket customer via the company's website. Better yet, you can send your message with a fake return number or no return number at all. Obviously I use this as a way to more quickly and coherently type text messages but Lord knows what could happen if this ability were found out by the wrong people. [insert spooky music from Jaws here]

Sunday, May 15, 2005

 

I'm Addicted to the NASA Website



It's a glacier, dudes!

 

I Heart Josh Bernstein

For real, yo. Watch Digging for the Truth on the History Channel.


Saturday, May 14, 2005

 

Tribute to Perrysburg, Ohio

Oh, yes...let's study our beautiful and more affluent suburbs. I actually quite like Perrysburg since I'm a history nut.





"The Site - Built in 1813 to defend the Ohio Country against British invasion, Fort Meigs constitutes the largest wooden walled fortification in North America. Today the fort stands rebuilt on its original location within a 65 acre wooded park. The ten acre fort is enclosed by a stockade wall and contains seven blockhouses, five cannon batteries, and numerous interior eight foot high earthworks."

 

Yea! More Father Robinson!

There's a webpage on the story.

Friday, May 13, 2005

 

Speaking of irritating phone calls...

Automated phone calls have taken on a new level of I'M-GONNA-START-BUSTIN'-CAPS-IN-ASSES irritability.

Luckily there haven't been any debt collectors calling my house for me. Unfortunately, some bastard (we'll call him Joe Fucktard) has given his debt collectors my phone number. Normally, when someone calls for Joe Fucktard, I can simply say, "You have the wrong number." Lately, however, the debt collectors have arranged a system whereby I am harassed into calling them to explain that I am not Joe Fucktard and do not know Joe Fucktard.

Picture this. Phone rings. "Hello?" "Hello, [computer voice] Joe Fucktard. It is imperative that you call me at 1.800.FUCKERS immediately." I call 1.800.FUCKERS to ask that they please quit calling because I'm not Joe Fucktard, yada yada yada. Operator apologizes for the inconvenience and says that my number is being removed from their list. Then within a few days I get another computerized call for Joe Fucktard and the entire process starts over again.

I've had my numbers change enough over the past year that there's no way I'm getting my home number changed again. So please, God...make it stop.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

 

Telephone Harassment

Typically I try to answer my telephone. Usually the caller is a friend or family member and I enjoy talking to friends and family members. Sometimes, though, I'm either not at home or otherwise engaged. Luckily, though, modern conveniences like an answering machine/voicemail and caller ID make certain that I always know who has called.

Why, then, do some people insist on trying to call two or three times in quick succession? What's the frigging point? Trying again half an hour or so later is perfectly acceptable but hitting redial right after hanging up is irritating beyond belief. I'm not home! Or if I'm home, I'm in the bathroom! So get over it already.

I wish that I were gratuitously whining over the deluge of calls I get from fascinating people but I'm not. I'm talking about the usual suspects whom I talk to regularly. You bastards know who you are. So just stop it already.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

 

Mike Doughty - Soul Coughing

I honestly don't give much of a crap but a friend of mine is quite the Soul Coughing fan. I stumbled upon this and figure there's got to be another fan out there somewhere who'd be interested.

Mike Doughty's Blog

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

 

I Heart Pete Doherty

What better way to pass the day than gazing upon The Books of Albion?


Monday, May 09, 2005

 

Toledo's Sweetheart, Katie Holmes, in Nasty Feet Shocker!

Gutter journalism like this just breaks my heart.

Gasp!

Yikes!

Check it out on thesuperficial.com

Sunday, May 08, 2005

 

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Is it wrong to fantasize about being the meat in this sandwich? I can't wait until May 19th.


 

My Scientific Personality Test Results

Truly fascinating, no?

INTJ -The Mastermind
You scored 27% I to E, 47% N to S, 71% F to T, and 31% J to P!

You are more introverted than extroverted. You are more intuitive than observant, you are more thinking based than feeling based, and you prefer to have a plan rather than leaving things to chance. Your type is best described by the word "mastermind", which belongs to the larger group called rationals. Only 1% of the population shares your type. You are very strong willed and self-confident. You can hardly rest until you have things settled. You will only adopt ideas and rules if they make sense. You are a great brainstormer and often come up with creative solutions to difficult problems. You are open to new concepts, and often actively seek them out.
As a romantic partner, you can be both fascinating yet demanding. You are not apt to express your emotions, leaving your partner wondering where they are with you. You strongly dislike repeating yourself or listening to the disorganized process of sorting through emotional conflicts. You see your own commitments as self-evident and don't see why you need to repeat something already expressed. You have the most difficulty in admitting your vulnerabilities. You feel the most appreciated when your partner admires the quality of your innovations and when they listen respectfully to your ideas and advice. You need plenty of quiet to explore your interests to the depth that gives you satisfaction.
Your group summary: rationals (NT)

 

Precious Doe Finally Identified

I don't know if you're as addicted to Cold Case Files on A&E as I am but I am very glad that they finally identified her and found those responsible for killing her. Read about it here.

Question: Have any news agencies posted a picture of the little girl? After seeing all of the artists' renderings on TV I'm curious as to what she really looked like. Please reply with a link. Thanks!

Saturday, May 07, 2005

 

Britney's Pregnancy Test Bought by Online Casino

Just in time for Mother's Day! How exactly does one frame a urine stick?

Celebrity Justice

 

For Your Sanitized Shopping Pleasure

Wow...it's just like a real city except that it's climate-controlled and more expensive and you don't have to look at many (if any) poor people.

I'd laugh harder at the people in this picture if I wasn't certain I'll look similar once the Steve Madden store opens.

Dear God,

Please please please let the pub be next door to the make-a-bear place. Please.

Friday, May 06, 2005

 

The Katie Holmes - Tom Cruise Saga

First came the quasi-horrific shocker:

GAG PUKE
BARF VOMIT

Then her family and friends jumped in:

Where do minds like this come from? Make it stop!

“Anybody that has been breathing for the last 20 years knows about Tom Cruise,” Marty Holmes said. “It’s a very exciting time for everybody. It’s an exciting time for Toledo.”

Huh? Say that again? Sad thing is that Marty might be right. Look at how creamed-up the Blade's staffers got:

:::bowing head in shame:::

Thursday, May 05, 2005

 

Adam Green at the Magic Stick

Detroit, Michigan - Wednesday, May 4, 2005
The Magic Stick
Adam Green

Where was everyone? Bad idea, Adam, scheduling a show during college finals week. Great gig nonetheless. Plus Adam was gracious enough to sign my ticket stub despite the fact that I nearly drifted off to sleep standing there, once the excitement of the set was over (damn me for waking up at 6 AM and staying sober for the drive home...foiled again). Allegedly I'm to be emailed pictures of the event; I'll post them a.s.a.p. upon their arrival.

For now, though, there's this:


Wednesday, May 04, 2005

 

How is this Staind drama still going on?

My, my, my...

I must admit, though, that I giggled like a retard in a lollipop factory when I read the bit about Staind upsetting Jon's Christian sensibilities. Who'd a thunk it?

And the picture...worth much more than a thousand words.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

 

Nerd Alert






Monday, May 02, 2005

 

AREIS Online

We all know about AREIS, correct? The Auditor's Real Estate Information System? God bless freedom of information. All Lucas County auditor information is listed so we can all see who paid how much for what house, etc. The internet never stops giving.

http://www.co.lucas.oh.us/AREIS/areismain.asp

Sunday, May 01, 2005

 

A Bit About Toledo, Ohio

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toledo,_Ohio

Sift through for dirt on

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The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. - George Bernard Shaw