Monday, June 27, 2005
Ten Commandments Okay Outside
The Supreme Court says that the Ten Commandments can be displayed outside a courthouse but not inside. Click here for more.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Governor Taft Concerned About His Reputation
The Blade has little to report except that Governor Taft is concerned that the Tom Noe coin scandal might ruin his family's reputation. Reputation as what is my question.
Daily Eye Candy: Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christiansen
Friday, June 24, 2005
Most Pressing Issue of Our Time
Lies.
At least I have myself convinced (still) that I'm right and they're wrong. No one else will believe me. Hopefully bringing this to my blog will force answers from the wider population. So here it is...
I burned my finger. burned = verb
My finger is burnt. burnt = adjective
Isn't this the rule rather than the exception? That a word ends in -t when it's an adjective and -ed when it's a verb? Donna was quick to point out before that: "He who smelt it dealt it." This beloved phrase throws my theory out of whack for sure. But I simply cannot let go of a grammar/spelling rule that's been in my head for so long. It's driving me insane.
I really need to shut up and get laid. Please forgive this post.
At least I have myself convinced (still) that I'm right and they're wrong. No one else will believe me. Hopefully bringing this to my blog will force answers from the wider population. So here it is...
I burned my finger. burned = verb
My finger is burnt. burnt = adjective
Isn't this the rule rather than the exception? That a word ends in -t when it's an adjective and -ed when it's a verb? Donna was quick to point out before that: "He who smelt it dealt it." This beloved phrase throws my theory out of whack for sure. But I simply cannot let go of a grammar/spelling rule that's been in my head for so long. It's driving me insane.
I really need to shut up and get laid. Please forgive this post.
Lesley Gore is a Lesbian
I wish I could think up a more catchy title. But yes...the singer of "It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To" is a lesbian.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Mapping Our Brain Cells
I know several guys who activate more than a cell in the brain when they see Halle Berry in that Catwoman costume.
But here's to research.
But here's to research.
Netiquette Lesson
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Burn Your Flags While There's Still Time!
The government is taking away everyone's favorite form of protest. We all should have seen this coming when they started sending protesters into fenced-off protester pens.
Now...what does this mean for my cheesy collection of Americana?
Who's taking bets on how long before the Supreme Court rules on this? The Court is pretty conservative but I don't think the justices are flat-out stupid. They can't arrest everyone who drops a flag-print paper plate on the ground. And anyone burning a flag on the street is obviously going to be doing it in protest (my civics knowledge is rusty but I do think that the right to protest and free speech were things we had our revolution for).
Toledotastic's Guide to the Flag:
Yes:
No:
Now...what does this mean for my cheesy collection of Americana?
Who's taking bets on how long before the Supreme Court rules on this? The Court is pretty conservative but I don't think the justices are flat-out stupid. They can't arrest everyone who drops a flag-print paper plate on the ground. And anyone burning a flag on the street is obviously going to be doing it in protest (my civics knowledge is rusty but I do think that the right to protest and free speech were things we had our revolution for).
Toledotastic's Guide to the Flag:
Yes:
No:
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Justice is Served
Good news! Edgar Ray Killen was found guilty of the 1967 murders of three civil rights workers in Mississippi.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Disillusioned Fans are Still Bitter About 'The Beach'
Finally! Someone spoke up for movie fans everywhere and did to Leonardo DiCaprio what should have been done years ago. It's a pity that Giselle Bundchen wasn't at his side for collateral damage. (I actually have nothing against her except that she's gorgeous. Jealousy is a vengeful demon.)
"You need leadership. You don't need subject matter expertise."
Silly boy! What works for our president does not necessarily work for everyone.
It seems that our gazillion tax dollars spent on fighting terrorism is being used to hire unqualified people who show cheesy leadership qualities. To hell with actually understanding the difference between Shiites and Sunnis or being able to find Iraq on a topographical map.
"What skill sets would they need to better identify, penetrate and/or prevent a future Osama bin Laden-style terrorist attack?" Kohn asked.
Watson answered: "They would need to understand the attorney general guidelines for counterterrorism and counterintelligence investigation."
"Anything else?" the lawyer inquired.
"No," Watson answered.
And people are still wondering why Bin Laden hasn't been captured.
It seems that our gazillion tax dollars spent on fighting terrorism is being used to hire unqualified people who show cheesy leadership qualities. To hell with actually understanding the difference between Shiites and Sunnis or being able to find Iraq on a topographical map.
"What skill sets would they need to better identify, penetrate and/or prevent a future Osama bin Laden-style terrorist attack?" Kohn asked.
Watson answered: "They would need to understand the attorney general guidelines for counterterrorism and counterintelligence investigation."
"Anything else?" the lawyer inquired.
"No," Watson answered.
And people are still wondering why Bin Laden hasn't been captured.
Poor Angelina Jolie
How bad was she that Billy Bob Thornton is still bashing her? And who are these poor mediocre women being chased around by Billy Bob?
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Who says that wealth and fame can't still buy you a jury?
It seems that at least one of Michael Jackson's jurors attended his acquittal celebration. The juror in question strikes me as an especially dazzling intellect. Silly me had no idea that the "sins of the parents" concept plays a pivotal role in modern jurisprudence! You're right, Ms. Coccoz...bad parents deserve to have their children molested. If their kids aren't molested, how will the parents ever learn?
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
I can't quite say that this film was worth Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie breaking up Brad's marriage to Jennifer Aniston since I don't give a rat's ass about the sex lives of any of them. What I can say is that it was actually a pretty decent movie. Once you get past the moronic premise and the action gets going, there are loads of great fight scenes that are intense yet funny. Oh...and Angelina Jolie is incapable of looking bad.
Friday, June 17, 2005
Amanda de Cadenet's Rare Birds
Heaven save us all from thinly-veiled exercises in vanity. I'll flip through it for the Nick Valensi and Orlando Bloom photographs but I'll need a shower afterwards (for the wrong reasons).
Amanda showing us she's still in decent shape for the cover:
Nick Valensi (The Strokes) sleeping:
Drew Barrymore (E.T.) and Fab Moretti (The Strokes) ringing in New Year's 2003:
Beck, most likely threatening to take away Amanda's camera and shove it up her ass:
Perhaps it was Keanu's restraining order that kept Amanda from going in:
Amanda and Nick simulating a sex act in front of the kid she had with the Duran Duran dude:
Examples of 'real people'...because all 'real people' (non-quasi-celebrities) are fat and funny-looking:
Amanda showing us she's still in decent shape for the cover:
Nick Valensi (The Strokes) sleeping:
Drew Barrymore (E.T.) and Fab Moretti (The Strokes) ringing in New Year's 2003:
Beck, most likely threatening to take away Amanda's camera and shove it up her ass:
Perhaps it was Keanu's restraining order that kept Amanda from going in:
Amanda and Nick simulating a sex act in front of the kid she had with the Duran Duran dude:
Examples of 'real people'...because all 'real people' (non-quasi-celebrities) are fat and funny-looking:
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes: Engaged
CNN has it in the news today that Cruise and Holmes became engaged atop the Eiffel Tower on Friday (today, because of the time difference). I wonder how many Scientology staffers were present?
Budget Woes for Toledo Public Schools
According to published reports, public schools in Toledo are facing a crisis and may need to pay back the state of Ohio millions of dollars. I don't know what to laugh at first...the fact that the state of Ohio is currently in no position to pull off a scenario of accounting superiority or the fact that TPS is coming up with budgetary problems just when it's time to negotiate a new contract with the teachers' union.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
I loved the first film (despite Renee Zellweger's scary eyes) and held out hope for the second. But blech...they butchered the book (sad since it was written with the film sequel in mind) and somewhere along the way Zellweger forgot how to play the role. Rather than have Bridget as a silly fumbler, Renee here has her as an incompetent buffoon who can't even walk correctly. (Okay...walking funny in the ill-fitting gold dress is one thing, but does Bridget really have to walk like she's holding a carrot up her ass for the entire film?) Sadly, the only redemption to the film were the pervy bits of dialogue uttered by Hugh Grant, whom I don't much care for in general. Poor Colin Firth was forced to simply look into the camera for most of the film sans dialogue.
50% crap but still better than most of what's available on video store shelves.
50% crap but still better than most of what's available on video store shelves.
Daily Eye Candy: Gael Garcia Bernal
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Daily Eye Candy: Jude Law
Katie Holmes and Scientology
The Blade (and every other media outlet) has been reporting on Katie Holmes and her changeover to Scientology. I'm sure that the sisters over at Notre Dame Academy, whom Katie was so quick to thank early in her career, are delighted to learn that their protegé has joined a cult religion that seems to offer so much.
"Scientology is both immoral and socially obnoxious...It is corrupt, sinister and dangerous. It is corrupt because it is based on lies and deceit." --Justice Latey, ruling in the High Court of London
For more tidbits on the inner workings of Scientology, try these sites:
Scientology Lies
Operation Clambake
"Scientology is both immoral and socially obnoxious...It is corrupt, sinister and dangerous. It is corrupt because it is based on lies and deceit." --Justice Latey, ruling in the High Court of London
For more tidbits on the inner workings of Scientology, try these sites:
Scientology Lies
Operation Clambake
Suspicious Colorado Burglary
The Blade is reporting a break-in over in Colorado. It would appear that Michael Storeim, the suspected smarmy business associate of Tom Noe, loser of $300,000 coins and wine connoisseur, was robbed of valuable evidence over the weekend. Fishy, fishy, fishy. He went away for the weekend in the midst of an FBI investigation, during which he forgot to set him burglar alarm or else owns the worst alarm system ever (real smart for a guy with oodles of stuff). Poor guy! Worse yet, he managed to be robbed by thieves who specialize in everything..."a Toyota Sequoia and Lexus G300...weapons, 10 boxes of 12-gauge ammunition, four tubs of rock-climbing gear, several lithographs and paintings, stereos, and jewelry. Additionally, guitars — one autographed by B.B. King and another by Stevie Ray Vaughan — were reported stolen, police said." This borders (or eclipses?) the ridiculous.
Mr. and Mrs. Storeim should have read advice from the crime doctor where they could have learned tips about how to avoid burglaries. They also would have learned that "Burglaries are committed most often by young males under 25 years of age looking for items that are small, expensive, and can easily be converted to cash. Favorite items are cash, jewelry, guns, watches, laptop computers, VCRs, video players, CDs and other small electronic devices are high on the list. Quick cash is needed for living expenses and drugs." In other words, most crimes are committed by small-time thieves looking for stuff with quick and easy turnover potential. For thieves to take the stuff Storeim listed, they'd need a damn truck. Do I believe the possibility exists that a smart criminal could have read up on Storeim's sordid business dealings? Yes. But what thief wouldn't naturally assume that the FBI would still be watching Storeim's house? Moreso, what kind of well-read professional thief would take such a variety of stuff?
Brilliant mind that he is, Storeim was quick to blame the media for drawing attention to the loot in his house. So, um, he was robbed by newspaper-reading burglars who enjoy music and recognize the value of fine art. Damn the media! How dare the journalists of our nation bring light to embezzlement schemes! Don't the media realize that they're simply encouraging crime?
Mr. and Mrs. Storeim should have read advice from the crime doctor where they could have learned tips about how to avoid burglaries. They also would have learned that "Burglaries are committed most often by young males under 25 years of age looking for items that are small, expensive, and can easily be converted to cash. Favorite items are cash, jewelry, guns, watches, laptop computers, VCRs, video players, CDs and other small electronic devices are high on the list. Quick cash is needed for living expenses and drugs." In other words, most crimes are committed by small-time thieves looking for stuff with quick and easy turnover potential. For thieves to take the stuff Storeim listed, they'd need a damn truck. Do I believe the possibility exists that a smart criminal could have read up on Storeim's sordid business dealings? Yes. But what thief wouldn't naturally assume that the FBI would still be watching Storeim's house? Moreso, what kind of well-read professional thief would take such a variety of stuff?
Brilliant mind that he is, Storeim was quick to blame the media for drawing attention to the loot in his house. So, um, he was robbed by newspaper-reading burglars who enjoy music and recognize the value of fine art. Damn the media! How dare the journalists of our nation bring light to embezzlement schemes! Don't the media realize that they're simply encouraging crime?
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Daily Eye Candy: Jude Law
No More Spooning for Michael Jackson
I can believe that he was acquitted. I cannot believe, however, that his taste in spooning buddies has changed. Let me be the first to conjecture that a move abroad (as well as frequent visits to Thailand) are in MJ's future.
Click here for the AP story.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Daily Eye Candy: A Smorgasbord
It's a slow news day and I'm a bit hungover so I'll stick to posting pictures of guys I'd rather have fooled around with last night.
Gael Garcia Bernal:
Julian Casablancas:
Carl Barat:
Orlando Bloom:
Hayden Christiansen:
Gael Garcia Bernal:
Julian Casablancas:
Carl Barat:
Orlando Bloom:
Hayden Christiansen:
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Lucas County Sex Offenders
They're cracking down on getting sex offenders to register with their current addresses. So, dear readers, run down to your local police stations now before the coppers come knocking on your doors.
For those of you eager to see if you're on file, try:
SEXCRIMINALS.COM
Lucas County Sex Offenders
For those of you eager to see if you're on file, try:
SEXCRIMINALS.COM
Lucas County Sex Offenders
Keanu...maybe, maybe not...
New reports are saying that Keanu swears ("Like, no way, dude...I totally did not, like, get married") the May 5th marriage rumor is false.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Bermuda, Bahama, Come on Pretty Mama
Latest news covers the $215 million the state of Ohio lost in Bermuda. I totally feel the state's pain! It's like that $500 I lost in a casino in Biloxi. Thank God that my weekend Biloxi trip was at least free.
Really, I should have become an accountant. My guess is that anyone even remotely connected to this earns a minimum of double my annual salary. But I have never lost $215 million in a single calendar year. Sweet little me, I nearly crapped my pants when I wrote that one bad check. Living in Ohio, I'm a financial genius for the mere fact that I pay my utility bills in full every month. Sometimes I even *gasp* round up!
Really, I should have become an accountant. My guess is that anyone even remotely connected to this earns a minimum of double my annual salary. But I have never lost $215 million in a single calendar year. Sweet little me, I nearly crapped my pants when I wrote that one bad check. Living in Ohio, I'm a financial genius for the mere fact that I pay my utility bills in full every month. Sometimes I even *gasp* round up!
Friday, June 10, 2005
Poignant Editorial
There needs to be an email breathalyzer (sp?) test. The nature of email leads you down the primrose path of thinking, "I'm not waking anybody up. I've got spellcheck so no one is hearing my slurred words. This is totally a sane and legitimate thing to do." The next day, of course, you realize that you've given someone concrete fodder for realizing you're an idiot. Not that they didn't suspect it before but, ya know...
George W. Bush, Tom Noe and 'Coingate'
It seems that our nation's president was in Ohio yesterday. Given the current scandal he was inevitably greeted by protesters. You can read the Blade article here.
My question: We should all recall that Bush said he'd give the $4000 which he got from Tom Noe to charity. If these (DUH) are my tax dollars, shouldn't Bush give the money to the state of Ohio? I'm not comfortable with a scenario wherein Noe steals Ohio government money, Noe gives stolen money to Bush, Bush gives money to charity. Not only do I think that the only fair option is that Bush should give the money to Ohio. I also worry about what kind of charity Bush will give it to. He could basically be handing over my tax dollars to nutty fundamentalist abortion clinic bombers.
My question: We should all recall that Bush said he'd give the $4000 which he got from Tom Noe to charity. If these (DUH) are my tax dollars, shouldn't Bush give the money to the state of Ohio? I'm not comfortable with a scenario wherein Noe steals Ohio government money, Noe gives stolen money to Bush, Bush gives money to charity. Not only do I think that the only fair option is that Bush should give the money to Ohio. I also worry about what kind of charity Bush will give it to. He could basically be handing over my tax dollars to nutty fundamentalist abortion clinic bombers.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Daily Eye Candy: Ewan McGregor
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes...where are you? These eggs are gonna go bad. Oh, wait...
Reports have said that the contrived coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs lovebirds are supposed to be headed here any day now. No one seems to have spotted them around town yet, though. At least one of my nutty friends is interested in stalking them out with a cameraphone when they do roll in. Let's all hope that our years of watching too many paparazzi shows on the E! channel pay off.
Kingdom of Heaven
It's made its way to the discount theater already but I finally got around to seeing Kingdom of Heaven. The sets, cinematography, etc., were excellent. But what was it about again?
The story starts out with priests burying a woman who committed suicide. Very soon after we learn that this Hell-slated chick is the wife of Orlando Bloom and kicked the bucket after her baby died. The point is to make the viewer aware that Orlando is angry at the Church. Okay. Then Liam Neeson (looking great as he ages) shows up to tell Orlando that he's his father and does Orlando happen to want to go on a crusade with him. Orly says no but later that evening kills a priest, forcing him to catch up with papa on the road. Um, okay. Anyhoo, pops himself kicks the bucket not soon after. Miraculously, though, Liam taught Orly everything he knew during the ten minutes before his mortal wound.
Fast forward to Jerusalem where Orlando finds himself as the king's favorite despite the fact that he has done little of note and that no one knew who the hell he was until he rolled into town. And luckily for Orly the king's sister has a mean husband and is eager to boink. Cut to the director's excuse for getting Orly to take his shirt off (much appreciated).
I get it that the writer/director/movie dudes were trying to show the corruption and hypocrisy behind the Crusades. But this movie had too much crap going on to stick to a theme. There had to have been a lot of footage edited out of the film...at least I hope so. It'd be sad to think that what I saw was the story as it was originally written. The whole thing was an amalgamation of all of the historical and historical fiction hero films we've had out since Braveheart. The ruler's enticing sister came from Gladiator. This review is tedious enough so I won't go into detail but I'm sure you get the idea.
Shallow twit that I am, though, I liked the film. The director was wise enough to do a lot of close-ups on Orlando Bloom which made the lack of good writing bearable. Months from now I'll more than likely pick up a cheap used copy of the DVD to liven up my spinster nights at home.
The story starts out with priests burying a woman who committed suicide. Very soon after we learn that this Hell-slated chick is the wife of Orlando Bloom and kicked the bucket after her baby died. The point is to make the viewer aware that Orlando is angry at the Church. Okay. Then Liam Neeson (looking great as he ages) shows up to tell Orlando that he's his father and does Orlando happen to want to go on a crusade with him. Orly says no but later that evening kills a priest, forcing him to catch up with papa on the road. Um, okay. Anyhoo, pops himself kicks the bucket not soon after. Miraculously, though, Liam taught Orly everything he knew during the ten minutes before his mortal wound.
Fast forward to Jerusalem where Orlando finds himself as the king's favorite despite the fact that he has done little of note and that no one knew who the hell he was until he rolled into town. And luckily for Orly the king's sister has a mean husband and is eager to boink. Cut to the director's excuse for getting Orly to take his shirt off (much appreciated).
I get it that the writer/director/movie dudes were trying to show the corruption and hypocrisy behind the Crusades. But this movie had too much crap going on to stick to a theme. There had to have been a lot of footage edited out of the film...at least I hope so. It'd be sad to think that what I saw was the story as it was originally written. The whole thing was an amalgamation of all of the historical and historical fiction hero films we've had out since Braveheart. The ruler's enticing sister came from Gladiator. This review is tedious enough so I won't go into detail but I'm sure you get the idea.
Shallow twit that I am, though, I liked the film. The director was wise enough to do a lot of close-ups on Orlando Bloom which made the lack of good writing bearable. Months from now I'll more than likely pick up a cheap used copy of the DVD to liven up my spinster nights at home.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
They're being snatched up like cookies at a fat camp!
Jack White of the White Stripes married model Karen Elson (the redhead in the photograph) down in the Amazon the other day. From the looks of things, alligator was served at the reception. Must be some native thing. Ahh, the celebrity lifestyle...don't you love seeing hangers-on but not a single actual relative (Meg, the ex-wife, doesn't count) at the ceremony?
Whoa, dude!
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Heartwarming Britney Spears Tidbits
According to her own reports, Britney's blooming stretch marks, hemorrhoids and decreased bladder aren't hindering her sex life.
Noe, Noe, Noe...why didn't you cut me in on the action?
According to the latest news, a former employee/associate of Tom Noe had $500,000 worth of wine (I'm guessing the good shit) stored in his home...wine bought with my tax dollars. My vote says that we drink it up in the celebration held after all of the Ohio Republicans are convicted.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Toledo Mud Hens
Why not give it up for our local baseball heroes...farm team for the Detroit Tigers?
Official Website
Official Website
Sunday, June 05, 2005
The 4400 on USA Network
Obviously, the most important news today is the season premiere of "The 4400" on USA Network. I became addicted to this sci-fi-nerd program last summer and this summer seems to be headed in the same direction. Hells yeah.
Official Website
Official Website
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Bored at work?
Tom Noe vs. Tony Montana in the City Paper
There's a cute comparison between the two in the City Paper.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Daily Eye Candy: Nick Valensi
Just Say It Already
Okay...so the gist of today's Tom Noe news regarding George W. Bush is that Bush and the GOP are giving back $6000 total in campaign donations that came directly from Tom and Bernadette Noe. Bush is not, however, giving back the $100,000 that Noe raised for the campaign. Why? Because doing so might be seen as an admission that Noe himself provided that money, thereby making the people whose names the money was given under guilty of violating federal law. Nice party loyalty, Bush. My money says that you stick by the little people of the GOP for at least a few months.
Tsk, tsk...we're left to believe that folks earning $40,000 a year routinely give $2000 to political campaigns...at least until this goes to trial.
Read The Blade article here.
Tsk, tsk...we're left to believe that folks earning $40,000 a year routinely give $2000 to political campaigns...at least until this goes to trial.
Read The Blade article here.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Pete Doherty
Here he is at some awards show in the U.K. Nice to see that being engaged to Kate Moss, there's no one else around to eat all the food.
Toledo Nightlife Officially Dead
Both literally and figuratively. The website that until now featured pictures of locals (with room for commentary) out and about in the Glass City has suffered server meltdown.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
The world can't have enough...
...of Kate Moss and Shane MacGowan. You sick bastards.
